Food in identity crisis: Is it solid? A gel? Liquid? What would the TSA say? A vegetarian?

I have struggled to post regularly on this blog and I think that’s because I have been struggling to find my voice as a sex blogger. Being an anonymous blogger certainly hasn’t helped. I want to be authentic but I also understand the importance of maintaining my privacy and my public persona.  As a result I feel locked and unable to write anything.

And while I want to occasionally review some of my favorite toys (and maybe write a story about them every now and then… What I think I need from this blog is a place to grow- and maybe a few people to cheer me on now and then.

Solo here we go. Hopefully now I will start to find my footing here and things will get more regular and more interesting here. I also want this to be more regionally appropriate.

I’m completely in a place of transition in my life right now – and I think that some regular blogging will be good for me – to help me process and to feel like I’m a part of a community.

I’d love any insight related to anonymous blogging while maintaining authenticity… share it in the comments!

Explored! by Tascha Elliott

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #69? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #71? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday March 21st at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

• Five Years of The S Spot! Deadline: March 24th @ Noon.
• Spring Fever Giveaway Deadline: March 27th @ Midnight Eastern.
• For the Ladies Sex Toy Giveaway Deadline: March 28th.
• Blog Anniversary Contest Deadline: March 31st.
• Jessie’s I Dare You Spring Giveaway Deadline: March 31st @ Midnight.
• Win a Green Ophoria V Ring Deadline: March 31st.
• Adult Easter Egg Hunt! Deadline: April 2nd @ 11am Central.
• Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving Deadline: April 3rd @ 11:59pm Eastern.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #9

Editor’s Pick

• Crystal Delights Glass Plug by Britni TheVadgeWig

The plug is Pyrex, and they claim that it’s a Swarovski crystal in the base. I, of course, have no way of confirming that, but it’s pretty cool to think I could be walking around with a Swarovski crystal in my butt! WAY cooler than whatever those vajazzling shenanigans are, if you ask me.

Editor’s Note: Not only am I in serious love with this product the quote above made me fall in serious love with this review, in addition to the fact that it is well-written and generally fantastic. Read! Enjoy! Get one of your own so you can have a “beautifully jeweled butthole!”

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

• BNaughty by Red
• Jimmyjane Little Gold by Amber from Scarlet’s Letter
• I Rub My Duckie by Jessie Beth
• 7-Function Remote Bullet by Mistress Kay
• 7-Function Remote Bullet by Pretty Power Tools
• Couture Collection Masseur by True Pleasures
• Evolved High Roller by Britni TheVadgeWig
• Fun Factory Bubbles by Sammi
• Pirates Rocket by Jessie Beth
• Fun Factory Tango by Carrie Ann
• Beaded Aluminum Bullet by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
• Fukuoku 9000 by Amber from DivergentDance
• Mini-Tongue by Joan Price
• Frisky Kitty by Jessie Beth
• Calla Lily by ThePinkPoppet
• Voila by Darling Dove
• Petite Couture Enchanted by Joan Price

Dildos

• Topco Grrltoyz Buster by Angel deSanguine
• Tantus Hank by Britni TheVadgeWig
• Tantus Purr by Kynky Kytty
• Unicorn Horn by Carrie Ann
• Wave Wand by Gray Mustang

Anal Toys

• Tantus Dipper by True Pleasures
• Bad Dragon Tailstretcher by True Pleasures
• Tantus Little Flirt by namelesschaos

Toys for Cocks

• Fleshlight O’Doyle’s Stout by namelesschaos
• Fleshlight Tera Patrick Lotus by Valynn
• Maximus Enhancement Ring by Jenn

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

• Babeland Body Massage Oil Spray by True Pleasures

BDSM/Fetish

• Wrist-to-Waist Restraints by Mistress Kay
• Fetish Fantasy Do It Doggie Harness by Mina
• Divinity Cuffs by Alley
• Singapore Stinger III by Sommer Marsden

Adult Books

• The Pleasure’s All Mine by Mistress Kay

Adult Movies & Porn

• Crash Pad Vol. 5 by Amber from DivergentDance
• Cody Kyler’s Pinga Paradise by The Porn Librarian
• Going Down – The Official Guide to Cunnilingus by J.D. Bauchery
• She’s The Boss! 2 – Scene 1 by The Porn Librarian
• Lukas in Love – Part 2 by FrzKey

Lingerie

• Pink Satin Brocade Corset by Sarahbear

Sex Furniture

• Liberator Axis by Valynn

Miscellaneous

• Fun Factory Smartballs Teneo Duo by Jessie Beth
• Fun Factory Smartballs Teneo Duo by Kynky Kytty

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From Flickr User MondeRonde

Steam coated the mirror and dripped down the bathroom door. The dim counter lamps cast shadows across the walls: James’ broad shoulders as he wrapped the towel across his torso. Ellen’s legs as she propped each one on the sink, working musky-scented vanilla lotion into her skin.

James smacked Ellen’s bare ass as he passed through to their bedroom.

“Excuse you,” she chided, tossing her wet dark hair across her shoulder to look back at him.

“Excuse who?” he threw back.

Before he could turn around, the tail of her towel whipped across his backside and his towel fell off. He spun around, but she was already on him, tackling him. Naked, they tumbled on to the bed, each moving to capture the other’s wrists. Ellen’s silky legs felt soft… and frustratingly slick against his skin.

Ellen had the advantage of inertia and pinned him down, squatting on top of his torso, holding his wrists, fighting him off as he pushed to play with her breasts. She laughed.

“Oh? You think you got me?” He said through a smile.

With a few quick moves, Ellen was on her back – and while she still had his wrists, James was using them to hold her arms down. Ellen smirked and looked down the space between them. She could feel his cock getting hard, with each second, pushing harder against her pubic bone. James followed her gaze.

“You like that?”

She nodded as their eyes met again. Ellen was always a quiet, coy one.

James teased her, moving his cock against her thighs, along the side of her labia, brushing her clit, pulling away… repeating.

Ellen moaned at the torture. She lifted her pelvis to meet him. “Please fuck me.”

He continued to tease her.  In her weakened state, James reclaimed his arms and started working her nipples, pinching… flicking… twisting. Ellen was writhing underneath him, groaning with the want. As he moved his head down, he could see how flushed her cunt was getting.  He loved the way it changed colors as she got aroused. Continuing the torment on her tits, he proceeded to breathe on her cunt and inner thighs.

“Oh my god!” Ellen said in frustration, raising her hips high. “Fucking fuck me. Dear god.”

James shook his head, enjoying his evil torture. “Not yet.”

Ellen groaned and fell back on the bed.

“Tell me how you feel, baby.”  He began to lick close to her clit – but not quite there. She sighed in the almost-appeasement. His hands gripped her thighs tight – holding her sex to his face.  She smelled so good.

“I want you to fuck me. No, I need you to fuck me. I feel so… empty. Like there is a black hole and I demand that you fill it with your cock.  My cunt is a vortex that wants to suck your cock…oh, oh, oh yea…”  her words trailed off as he started working on her clit.  She tasted so good. A little sweet and a little salty with a layer of tang. He loved licking her cunt.

Ellen continued to writhe underneath him, attempting to maintain control of her body and her sounds. Definitely a quiet, coy one.

James had two fingers inside Ellen’s cunt, milking her g-spot. Within minutes, she couldn’t contain herself anymore.  He felt her contract around his fingers right as he heard her cry out.  He continued to lick her. With deep breaths, she came down from her orgasm, her hands playing in his hair, twisting and combing his curly locks.

James removed his fingers, soaked in Ellen. He licked them clean and then reached for the lube at the side of the bed. Ellen saw his hand go to her left and she smiled.

“Now what are you doing?” she asked.

“You said you wanted to be filled. Let’s fill you up.”

“That sounds like fun. What do you have planned?” Ellen, propped up on her elbows, had after-orgasm glow.  Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes weren’t fully open again

“Hand me the glass dildo.”

Ellen, turned and reached into the drawer to dig it out.

James took the opportunity of Ellen being on her side and arranged her legs so they were open like a pair of scissors – and her ass was staring right at him. Ellen handed back the dildo and closed her eyes as James started fingering her ass.

A few moments later, Ellen felt the cool dildo against her asshole. James was always so good about working things into her ass. He knew just the right tempo and speed and…

“Oh god, that feels good” she moaned. “oh god”

“Oh, yes!” she said as she felt the last flare of the toy slide into her ass. She turned around and looked up at him with a wicked look on her face.

“How’s that feel?” he asked.

“Full. Sexy. Dirty.” she said, grinding her ass into the bed, causing the toy to wiggle and move inside her.

James shook his head wondering where his quiet and coy girlfriend had gone.  He moved and started kissing her tits, working up to her neck.

“Let’s fill you even more.  Your cunt seems lonely.”

“Yes please!”

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Blogger’s note: All erotica on this site is fiction but inspired by the toys I’ve reviewed. If you’d like to read my review of the toy referenced in this story, you can do so here.

But it’s true. I enjoy things in my ass. Lots of things. Fingers. Cocks (and cock-shaped things). Vegetables occasionally. Plugs. Other toys. Lots of fun, IMO.

When I bought the Wave Wand, I had intended to use it both anally and vaginally (washing between uses, of course), though I’ve found that I much, much prefer this toy in my ass.

In its entirety, this toy is 7 inches long and about 1 inch thick.  And it’s amazing in my ass. The tip is perfectly thin – and feeling my ass accept each of the bloops and settle on the neck before the big bulb is fantastic. It’s one of the only toys that I have that will actually stay in my ass.  True, it’s glass – which means that it has absolutely no give to my ass muscles.

Glass Toys are so Pretty!

I don’t find this to be a problem for me with this toy (though it could be because of my love of all/most things anal).  It never feels “too hard.” When I use this toy – I feel full. I feel the toy. It’s not a toy that you can sometimes forget about. You’ll feel the presence of this toy.  It’s also great to push in and out gently with the bulb/handle – in fact, it’s this bulb/handle that makes it very anal safe.

Vaginally, it’s also fun, in a generic dildo kind of way. It can be good to feel the stroking/penetration but since it doesn’t hit my g-spot, I’m not enamored with it in my cunt. Not like I am when it’s in my ass.

The morning after: Cleaning the Wave Wand is easy-peasy. It’s glass which means to sterilize it you can throw it in the dishwasher (no soap), boil it or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution.  Sterilizing your toy is always a good idea before you switch from ass to vagina or share it with someone.  You can also clean this toy with soap and water since it’s non-porous.

Gettin’ it naked: I bought this toy a LONG time ago so I don’t remember the packaging I experienced with this toy. Currently (when it’s in stock), it looks like the packaging is a little over-the-top. Way more plastic than is needed (booo on unneeded packaging that will likely end up in landfills).  Mine came with a red velvet bag for storage, but I can’t speak to Wave Wands that are sold more recently.

Sharpie provided for scale

Materials: Like I said – this toy is 100% glass- meaning you can play with temperatures (heat it in a bowl of hot water or cool it in an ice-water glass), and any kind of lubricant you want. The glass is completely seamless (I can’t imagine how much it would suck to have a hard seam on this) and smooth.  You’ll want to store it in a safe location – probably not in a drawer where it will be rolling back and forth, possibly causing it to chip or crack.

The Run Down: 7 inches long, about 1 inch thick/wide.

Moral of the Story: A good glass toy for the price. Definitely fun in the ass.

Have you seen Lady Gaga’s new video? Sooo sexy queer hot.

From Book from the Past

The book has a cover page that I wrote:

This is Gray’s Book of Eroticisms.

To include-

First half pictures

Second half erotica – Printed from the internet, descriptions of past encounters w/(the ex), lists of stuff I’d like to try, stuff (the ex) sends me

Rules -

• Only I may see this. I’m not pleasing anyone but myself here
• the cover stays discrete
• must make an addition once per 2 days
• favorites get marked with a sticker in the corner (eds. note – and here’s where I show my age :p )
• not concerned about how nice this stays – it should be worn all to hell at some point
• if something fails to turn me on, remove it or cover it with something that does.

What’s interesting to me is how consistent my most prevalent kinks have been.

For example, I’ve clearly always been an anal slut:

From Book from the Past

And I always get turned on by a hot masturbation scene:

From Book from the Past

And I’ve probably always had some pansexual/queer leanings:

From Book from the Past

It was actually really neat to find this.

I’ve been doing so much thinking about who I am and who I want to be – it’s nice to be reminded of who I HAVE been. I’m incredibly proud with the level of self-awareness I had at 18 about my own sexuality. Some people take decades to find their kinks (or give themselves permission to explore them).

I’ve also been wondering about the purpose of such a book.  Why did I feel the need to make something like this? This was before the internet was as pervasive as it is today… maybe it was going to be a go-to-masturbation book. Or maybe it was a way for me to think out some of my sexual philosophies and take some risks in a safe space.

Did anyone else do anything remotely like this in their youth?

If I hear one more person make an iPad¹ joke… I might flip. It is increasingly difficult to contain my frustration with these near-constant jokes.

I hate the absurd prevalence of these jokes. It stopped being funny 5 minutes after Steve Jobs announced the name of the new god-tablet. People stopped coming up with original, funny material about the iPad years before it even existed.

I would say that 80% of my frustration is related to the predictable, overplayed attempt at comedy.

The other 20% of my frustration is related to the actual butt of the jokes. Menstruation. How funny!

Actually, I find this really annoying. For one, it’s unbelievably immature. Particularly when people won’t just move the fuck on and find something else to joke about.

Furthermore… I don’t actually find menstruation jokes funny. PMS jokes contribute to the idea that I, as a woman, am less effective and extra moody once a month for about a week. Really, anytime I am upset, bitchy, angry, or annoyed, I am written off. “Oh, you’re just over-reacting because it’s that time of the month.” And I’ve internalized this shit. When I get upset at work and need to communicate as such, I actually do a self-check to make sure that I’m not actually PMS’ing. It’s as though even I think my thoughts and opinions aren’t valued if it’s that time of the month.That’s bullshit.

Better yet - skip the pads and tampons and use a Diva Cup. It's better for your vag (no bleached cotton on your delicate skin).

Then there’s the actual menstruation piece. It’s fucking blood, get over it. Half the world’s population currently personally experiences this (or has experienced it before menopause or will experience it when they reach puberty).  What’s NOT funny is the way that menstruation leads to very real, very scary consequences for young women in Africa (and I’m sure, elsewhere around the world). Access to sanitary pads greatly impacts² the experiences of these young women.  What privilege we as a culture have to laugh at the name of a $500 computer. I’m glad that some people realized this².

What’s NOT funny is the number of young women in this country (and all over the world, really) who will feel shame about their period, the number of young women who will feel “dirty” for something that is 100% natural and that they have absolutely no control over. What’s not funny is how easily this shame and sense of feeling “dirty” will translate into shame about their sexuality and sexual pleasure.

I don’t make jokes or find comedy in erectile dysfunction because I know that men who struggle with E.D. feel like less of a man because of this medical issue. I don’t make jokes about menstruation because I know that the shame young women feel about bleeding every month makes them feel like less of a human.

_______________________________________

¹ While I can and will agree that it’s a terrible name… I also appreciate that this is an opportunity for our culture to change the absurd associations we have with the word “pad.” Doesn’t it seem absurd that the word “pad” has such a strong association to menstruation with it? Can we get over the tabooed definition and start to think about other versions? Writing pads, tablet computers, landing pads, lily pads… good god.

² Please read this article about the environmental impact of pads in Africa (though really, we should worry about the environmental impact everywhere).

Right? Did that not leave you all excited and wanting to have a similarly grand time?

Jesus. I bought one about 4 hours later (I tried to exhibit some self control. I was not successful). I even decided to upgrade the shipping – which means it will get here in about 36 more hours.  I’ve never been very good with self control. It’s something I’m working on.

Anyway – I’ve had some success with female ejaculation but not solo. I get frustratingly close and then… I can’t quite get there. It’s excruciatingly frustrating. And while my bedside drawer is quite full (it stopped closing all the way weeks ago), I have a surprising lack of dildos in my collection. Clearly, a situation I am set on rectifying.

That’s not the only inspiration I walked away with today.

In case you haven’t noticed, Hi. I’m new here!

My current job is unbelievably frustrating sometimes – and it’s been too long since I’ve engaged in any sex-positive discourse, since I’ve used some critical thinking skills, since I’ve done any writing.

And let me tell you. This just feels good.